Social media can be a place of businesses & lives but no one really talks about how it can also be a place of loneliness and lies.
Many people, myself included try so hard to fit a standard that makes our lives look spotless, as if there is no mess ever to be found. This is actually a very false statement, if anything the most messes are behind what looks the most perfect ( that can be false sometimes too!)
After giving social media a go, a couple times, and a couple more times after that, I noticed that when you attempt to mold your self into others people success, you are not happy, or complete. I was on the phone with somebody the other night and I felt un included from what they were talking about because I questioned why there is such a big difference in who we are and the morals we individually carry. A moment later it occurred to me…If I tried so hard to be on the same page as that person, I would not enjoy it.
As a variety of my viewers know, I do Photography as my main every day passion..
I cannot begin to eve count how many other photographers I compare my self too all the time, and As a beginner of course it will be intimidating, it is someone else’s style. It is like t he concept of holding a camera when shooting, everyone’s going to do it differently because in order for images to come out authentic and personal, you need to add your personal touch!
So Is it easy to compare your work or what you put to hang? yes. Does the person you compare yourself to, also compare themselves? 100% guaranteed. Let yourself breathe, you live an opposite life then the person on your time line ❤
This morning I woke up and a person re-entered a part of my life I did not want them in. I was faced with a tough decision that I think by sharing, may help a lot of people come to terms with their anxiety. In my mind, I was given a fight or flight option, I could either watch my anxiety come back and tear me down or do what is best for me by not allowing that to take place and subtracting myself from the situation
I cannot easily accept surprises, at least the ones that up bring my emotional side. When my emotional side comes into play, I wonder many things…
What is this person thinking?
Have they Changed?
Why do I feel like this?
If I am over it, Then why do I care this much?
I Am no therapist but I think being hit with someone or something from your past will affect you one way or another, and even if it does not affect you, it will still somehow leave you questioning what on earth is going on in their mind.
After I took some space for me, to figure out what it was I felt, I realized I could be sad I had this interaction or I could pickup and learn from it. What did I learn? Pain is okay, reoccurrence of trauma is okay, but if you do not nail that in the bud, it will breathe on your shoulders and feel like a never ending ghost of yours. You can be past something but happen to open a door by accident.
On this Tuesday morning I encounter my thoughts scattering over different areas I want to touch base on. When you ask me what I think of day to day, I really could not tell you because I picture a variety of different ideas I wish people would see my perspective on, or sometimes I just feel like talking about my day, routine or new concept I have picked up
Time to myself…
When I am not part time working, or on the go with school, I have time to sit, write & think. I have finally got into my reading again, it has been a while because for me, reading involves time and patience. Reading has been a very healthy addition to my free time. Shockingly, the more I read, the more Ideas I write about. Here are some new reads I am eager to begin:
Tomorrow I start my last two classes of what the system calls “quadmesters”, I think it is unfortunate that I have worked 13 almost 14 years to finish high school and from the 10th till my last year its ripped away. It is for sure a weird feeling as a student to have no high school year book, I think if anything it has shown me how much there is to appreciate in life. I now tell my younger sisters, whenever they say “School will always be there tomorrow or school sucks, or I wanna miss this week”, I make sure to sink in their minds, I was guaranteed nothing and missed half my high school experience if not 80%. School is the beginning of who you are, it makes you think about all these other people around the world that may not have the opportunity to attend school, how much me and so many others took it for granted.
Does schooling from home have more advantages or disadvantages?
I mean, for sure, I do not have to get dressed early, I can work on my time, I can go to class and sit in my sweats while doing an assignment. Though, to be laughing with my friends once more, or to be in a pep rally, or at games, are moments you just don’t get back.
I think there is a much needed space between outside life and home life, while growing with my mother and sister has been beneficial, it is also a feeling of needing some seperation and that is not to speak down on my home because there is no where else I feel safer, but I wish to be on retreats or checking out places, finding out who I am through expiriences.
If there was anything beneficial of the Work/School from home, what might it have been for me?
One Phrase changed my life at the start of March 2020, and when I took this into a wider consideration it truly created this peace in my mind:
Where there is an individual like myself crying because I want to see other faces besides my parents and siblings, there is an individual in foster cared, crying because they are being abused. One huge thing I have learned more about this past quarantine is the gift of freedom I have been given in my household. A lot of the time I need to quit feeling sorry for myself because while being alone has felt like such a weight on my load, it is also not as bad as some kids have it.
How can you be a help in your community?
You can do so much by just being kind, I can not express it enough. There are people who have school or work as their saving grace, so if you have an anxious coworker, student, friend, come in, just be their peace. If your family is somewhere you feel comfortable to bring it up, maybe talk about adoption or fostering a kid, you may not find it affects your life but it is beyond a different conversation of how you will change theirs.
I have 25 minutes to upload this so that it is still morning! Lol
How Corona Virus affected my life:
Before these lockdowns and shutdowns, I was a little bit alike to the way I am now. None the less I still changed drastically. When these restrictions did not exist I lived in a “bubble”…
That “bubble” consisted of go where I please, eat how I please, visit places as I please and speak with people as I please. BOOM! stay home, keep to yourself and now everyone dodges one another on the sidewalks when enjoying nature. Corona Virus made me realize the true perspective of appreciation for the freedom I once took for granted.
Those are only negative though…
I cannot say for anyone else but I as a teenager am lucky to have a part time job, I have through this whole pandemic. Covid has handed me more happier customers, and sure you have brawls in some sections of line ups but then you have customers that treat you with greater respect. If I were to say what exactly changed for me, I would tell you minor privilege’s, I do not get to have the privileges’ of seeing peoples smiles, instead I do get to hear their stories or help them socially distanced with their bags or just see them in general.
Point of view…
Small businesses are suffering heavily.
I will soon be uploading some businesses you can provide what you usually pay for at big box places. Families are losing their homes, buildings/offices/salons ect. Under restriction you may not be able to help them huge but I have realized $20 is a bigger help then one may assume.
So if you ask me how this period in paused time has impacted me, It made me grateful, understanding and supply help to those who need assistance locally.
Something that was always difficult for me to work with was hatred that came from traumatic experience’s I had, and the letting go. Hate is silent, hate is strong, but hate feels over powering. Two years ago I went through a lot of heartache and never realized the toll it took on me. It wasn’t until people would ask me if I was okay, then I would find myself In the position where I would have to lie and say everything was fine when really everything was so far from it.
Understanding where I stood…
*I left it all behind*
I think that when you eliminate the entire equation and walk into a more peaceful place, it seems to make you miss all the good times. Often though, good times can be your mind fooling you for the times that actually drained you. When I finally made the best of my new choices and environment, I found myself saying “I forgive them but I hate them with every piece of me”. Hate is a big thing, especially when I am still young, people are going to make mistakes and change it is what life is all about. Now do I wish it was expressed in a form of hurting my heart? no not at all. I remember a friend and I were having a conversation one day, and after I told her what is going on in my life she said, “You carry all this weight and when you carry it, it gets heavy”. I have kept those words with me because she couldn’t have pin pointed the things I was feeling more then that moment.
How to “stop hating”
Overtime I have realized that no book guide, therapist or person will get you to stop holding hate until you are at that level within yourself. Hate educates you, meaning, that you can still not want people in front of you and apart of your life but you can still wish them the best. Hatred takes away from the pure piece of the soul. I have learned to smile at the people I may have not ended on the best terms with because life is short. The less you care to get even with people, the more space you have in your life for things that make you happy to be alive.
Thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to read about my thoughts 🙂
“The point in time or space at which something starts”
Get to know me!
Hey, My name is Mia, I am a High school student who has a heavy passion in Photography & Journalism. This blog is a great way for me to just talk, let out everything I wish to tell, share and make special moments from.
Small things About my personality!
I am a big book reader, you may recognize authors such as “John Green, Nicholas Sparks, Eric Walters, Nicola Yoon”. Those are just a few I read from, I do not get to read as often as I would like to ( everyday) but I love a good romance, or big conflict based kind of book.
Since the age of 12 years old I have taken endless photographs everywhere I go, photography has been a major part of my character development and gives me the opportunity to make myself, others and moments so much happier :).
My all time favorite movies are:
The Notebook- Staring Ryan Gosling
The Lucky One- Staring Zac Efron
The Last Song- Staring Miley Cyrus & Liam Hemsworth
LOL- Staring Miley Cyrus
My All Time Favorite Shows are:
Melissa & Joey
Jane The Virgin- which ironically with the main character also being a book writer/ journalist gave me silent tips while watching.
How long and when did I find a love for Journalism?
My first year of Highschool, I was having a bit of a tough one and it was the year my eyes opened up. I had a loved one get very ill so that had me spending alot of time at Trillium health partners. While being there I had a journal and school books and my phone. Now was this the time and place I would like to say this is where a piece of my passion started? no, but it was one of those situations where I came out of my bubble and just spoke what was truly on my mind, along with all the numerous things I was going through at the age of 14-15.
What did I do about my growth in Journalism?
At the age of 14 I started a blog, but nothing like this, it was more so minor, private, and just for me. I shared it with a couple of friends until I realized I was putting up a front of what I was going through in my high school year. The blog was me trying to fake a smile, and while that can be helpful in some situations, in my case it only dragged me down, It took very long till I walked out of my house feeling genuinely okay again. At the age of 16 I made a photography account and with that account I slowly added captions, then those captions turned into poetry then poetry turned into daily thoughts. Finally I figured out what I wanted to do with my time, technology and mind.
After much thought and consideration, I have decided this blog is what I want to go through with for a bit and see how I like it. I follow many bloggers and they have been part the inspiration to me putting this to the works. I will do my best to upload often with school! I hope you follow today 🙂
What makes a good blog?
When you ask me what makes a good blog post, I would tell you that anything between the lines of putting up an act and hiding behind a screen is very simple. I would tell you that I find the best blog posts come from what the writer is truly thinking. Strongly honest written posts speak levels and will really get people to listen to you. If you were to question me on the things I find difficult to come to terms with, when we talk about blogging, I’d most definitely say that starting from scratch is the hardest part. I hope I soon gain an audience as I go on with this blog, it is something I am truly interested in.